


사랑해 (I Love You)

by baeconandeggs, YuzuIceCream



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, almost non/con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 12:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuzuIceCream/pseuds/YuzuIceCream
Summary: During the 1950 Korean War, Chanyeol and Baekhyun meet on the battlefield. The problem? They don’t meet on the same side.





	사랑해 (I Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 392
> 
> **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note:** Dear prompter, I hope this fic is satisfactory and that you’ll enjoy reading the story as much as I did writing it! To my beta NL thanks for the help as always and for giving your all (or trying to) even with all your other commitments. I hope all readers will enjoy this fic and thank you for everything!

**Bucheon, Gyeonggi Province, South Korea May 1935**

“Eomma, I really really don’t want to go! I promise I’ll be good if you leave me at home!” Ten year old Byun Baekhyun pouted, tugging on his mother’s skirt. 

His mother smiled fondly before bending down and pulling Baekhyun into her lap. 

“Don’t you want to meet apeoji and all your sachon? And I know for a fact halmeoni can’t wait to see you again, she said so in her last letter." His mother began stroking his hair softly and Baekhyun buried his head in her dress. 

“I know, but there’s nobody to play with in Kanggye and it’s so cold there, especially since you want to go there in November," Baekhyun whined as his mother laughed and poked his sides. 

“Oh Baekhyunnie, maybe you’ll meet someone new there. It’s always good to make new friends right?” 

**Kanggye, Chagang Province, North Korea, November 1935**

Baekhyun sniffed as he picked at the grass clump by his feet. As he expected, the trip to Kanggye was totally boring. The only people who actually paid attention to him were his grandmother and his mother. Other than that, he was basically ignored, besides some passing remarks by his other relatives about how “young Baekhyunnie here will be a good soldier against those Japanese pigs." 

Baekhyun sighed. He had  _ told  _ his mother that coming to Kanggye was a bad idea. Kanggye was basically a slightly lower quality version of Bucheon. Sure, they had the same run down buildings and same bad attitude boring old people, except Kanggye was  _ a lot _ colder and  _ a lot  _ further from Baekhyun’s dream of Seoul. Baekhyun was so preoccupied with his own sulking that he didn’t notice the approaching figure until he was standing right in front of him. 

“What do you want?” Baekhyun started and found himself staring at a boy who looked his age but was much much taller than him. He had huge ears which Baekhyun noticed straight away because they reminded him of that television show about the elephant with the huge ears that could fly. Baekhyun decided he liked this boy. 

The boy smiled before planting himself right next to Baekhyun. “New here?” 

Baekhyun sighed before shaking his head and poking the grass again. “Visiting my relatives. It’s so boring here though, all everyone can talk about is the Japanese."

The boy nodded in sympathy as Baekhyun huffed and leaned back, stretching his legs. “You know, my sister can speak Japanese!” The boy blurted, puffing out his chest.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “So? My brother can speak Japanese  _ and _ Chinese. Plus he’s a soldier too.” Baekhyun felt his chest grow warm at the thought of Baekbeom, clad in his camouflage suit, with his rifle strapped against his back and his helmet on his head. 

Before he could stop himself, Baekhyun felt the words spilling off his tongue: “And my brother isn’t just any soldier, he’s fighting in  _ Manchuria! _ ” At this, the boy’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. 

“Wow! Your brother is so cool!” The boy spoke fervently, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“Yeah I know right! I don’t get why others don’t think so though,” Baekhyun pouted as he thought back to lunch and how his uncle had glared at his grandmother when she asked his mother how Baekbeom was doing. No one ever mentioned Baekbeom during the family get-togethers. 

“Those people are stupid. Fighting is the coolest thing ever! It’s… it’s…” The boy scrunched up his face, as if trying to recall something. “It’s glory to our motherland in the north!” The boy puffed out his chest once again and Baekhyun giggled. 

“It took me a month to memorise that in school," the boy smirked. 

“What’s your name by the way?” 

Baekhyun felt the smile slowly tugging it’s way across his face.

“Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun.” 

The boy grinned before standing up and stretching. 

“Well Byun Baekhyun, I’ve got to go, but maybe next time you’ll meet Park Chanyeol on the battlefield. And maybe next time,” Baekhyun saw the boy’s grin stretch even wider. “Maybe next time, we’ll both fight for the motherland!” 

With that, the boy ran off, disappearing into the distance. Baekhyun smiled before standing up and setting back off towards his uncle’s house.

**Sangju, Gyeongsang Province, South Korea, July 1950 **

Baekhyun gritted his teeth as he trudged across the muddy ground, his boots sinking into the soft earth. He’d been going flat out for hours, and his muscles were aching, a harsh burn spreading across his thighs. He didn’t need to look around to see the others with equally grim expressions, although they probably masked their suffering better than Baekhyun. 

The sky was darkening when they finally came to a stop. Baekhyun near collapsed as he sat his pack down by his designated camp area, along with his other squad mates. Despite the pervasive exhaustion, his surrounding was lively, with people chatting aimlessly as they prepared to set up for the night.

Baekhyun watched his youngest squad partner fumble with the soggy newspapers that wouldn’t catch fire, despite the burning match and lighter fluid. Sighing, Baekhyun took his last piece of dry newspaper, tucked securely in his front pocket and tossed it at Sehun. For a second, Baekhyun wondered why or how that flimsy piece of paper was still with him, even after the numerous swims in rivers or the raindrops pelting against him.

“Thanks Hyung." Sehun grinned as he lit the match again. This time, the paper caught aflame, and soon, even the damp wood that they had managed to scrounge for was ablaze. 

Baekhyun slowly began to nod off, lulled into slumber both by an exhausting day and the warm tendrils of the fire which seemed to wash away the numbing cold he felt, even in mid July. 

“Hyuunggg I brought rations!” Jongin’s disgusting, annoying,  _ totally obnoxious  _ voice broke the calm tranquility Baekhyun almost slipped into. 

Baekhyun frowned as Jongin dropped the camp ration into his hands, and another into Sehun’s. One that looked a little bigger to Baekhyun. 

“Why does Sehun get more food than me?” Baekhyun glanced at Jongin, his eyebrows raised. Jongin blushed and avoided eye contact with Baekhyun and Sehun, who had looked up curiously too, upon Baekhyun’s question. 

“He’s the maknae here and I felt sorry for our youngest member ok?” Jongin shot back. Sehun seemed satisfied enough, with that shit-eating grin back on his face. Baekhyun rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah whatev-” Baekhyun broke off, his eyes widening as he stared at their little bonfire. 

“Um...Hyung? Are you alright?” Both Jongin and Sehun were looking at him weirdly. 

“Yeah, fine. Just... tired,” Baekhyun croaked. 

Jongin nodded his head sympathetically. 

“You should rest up Hyung. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day, and anyway you look like shit.”

Baekhyun flashed a tight smile, before closing his eyes briefly. Staring at the fire just now, he had suddenly realised why the thin newspaper had lasted such a long time.

Now, watching his brother’s name go up in flames, all Baekhyun could do was laugh cynically to himself, because at least now he had one less obituary to carry in his pocket. 

\-------

They had barely finished packing their camp when the boy came. He looked young, with large round eyes almost hidden by the helmet hiding his entire face. Judging from how he looked, Baekhyun doubted he was even of legal age to join the ROK. Probably lied about his age. But seeing how grim things were looking, Baekhyun didn’t complain. They needed every man they could get. 

“Head Leader has requested for Team Exo to meet him. I’m...I’m here to pass the message," the boy squeaked out. 

Baekhyun sighed before glancing towards Sehun and Jongin who looked equally wearied. 

“Tell him we’ll be there in five." 

\-------

Junmyeon is young, too young to be a general. In fact, Baekhyun dryly noted, the entire army seemed made up of people who were either too young or too unqualified to be fighting in such a war. Himself included. 

Junmyeon, or  _ Suho  _ as they’re supposed to call him during undercover missions, is a nice guy, and a good leader. He’s not too fond of Junmyeon on days like this, but on other days, when there’s no life or death situation to handle, Junmyeon is an okay sort of guy. 

“I have a mission for Team Exo." 

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t exactly call us here to drink soju with you." 

Junmyeon glared at Sehun and Baekhyun rolled his eyes. Only Sehun could get away with speaking to Junmyeon like that, and only because they were cousins. 

Clearing his throat, Junmyeon continued. “As I was saying, I have a mission for Team Exo. An important and vital mission." Baekhyun swallowed. He didn’t like the i and v word. 

Taking a red pin from the pin box, Junmyeon speared the map laid in front of them. 

“The north have a base here, in the Geumjeongsan mountains. Based on the radar communications, we have also learnt that a sizable amount of the north’s resources of food is also located there.” 

Jongin raised his hand. “So what you’re saying is that you want us to get into the camp, dismantle, blow up whatever and come back unscathed right?” Jongin looked uneasily at Baekhyun. 

Junmyeon flashed his characteristic smile. “This is why they call you the best raid team in the army." 

Baekhyun could feel both Sehun and Jongin’s heated and worried stares on him. He didn’t know he had been frantically biting his nails until his hand fell from his lips.

“But this won’t be like the other missions. The other raids were relatively small. Just small hideouts by the north. What you’re talking about is something huge, and probably heavily guarded. There’s almost no way we can make it across. Taking into account the terrain as well...it’s unlikely this raid will be just as successful." Baekhyun looked up to see Junmyeon staring at him hard. 

“So, Jungsa Byun, are you telling me that your team is incapable of executing this raid?” Junmyeon’s voice had become dangerously soft.

Baekhyun looked at Jongin and Sehun. Standing there, they looked so old. Faces lined with battle and violence. Living till nineteen. Dying at nineteen. 

Dying before their time.

Shutting his eyes, Baekhyun took a deep breath. 

“No sir, I’m not saying that our Team should not take the raid. In fact, I’m highly appreciative that you have chosen Team Exo for such a difficult and honourable mission.” 

“But what I meant earlier is that I think this mission, while intended for the entire team, really ought to be a solo mission instead. While some of our previous cases needed strength in numbers, for this one, I really think a stealth attack would be better." 

Baekhyun waited for his words to slowly sink in as Junmyeon considered his proposal. He could feel the betrayal, shock and anger seeping from Jongin and Sehun’s gaze but he ignored it. For now. 

He knew Junmyeon approved of the subtle message he was conveying in his vague words. As much as a pragmatist Junmyeon was, even he didn’t like family members dying out on him.

“I think I see your point Byun. Do you have anything more to add?” Junmyeon was looking at him squarely, and Baekhyun could almost feel the silent question poised.

“No sir." 

“Then, Hasa Kim, Byeongjang Oh, you may leave. I’ll need a few words with Jungsa Byun here."

\-------

Baekhyun didn’t expect to be on the ground so fast. One moment he had strolled out of Junmyeon’s tent, the next, his cheek was covered in a layer of dirt, while his other cheek stinged from the force of Jongin’s punch.

“What’s the problem Byun? Can’t block a punch?” Jongin’s voice was harsh and cutting. Baekhyun winced. 

“Jongin, stop it." Sehun’s voice was low. 

Baekhyun gingerly felt the left side of his face. No blood. Jongin could have done a lot worse if he wanted to. Baekhyun felt himself being lifted by the scruff and he saw Jongin’s fist tense around the bunched up fabric. Baekhyun shut his eyes as he saw Jongin start to lift his left arm.

Before he knew it, he was sitting back down, hard, on the ground. 

“Why, hyung? Why did you have to do that?”

Baekhyun stared in amazement as Jongin, Kim Jongin - tough ‘macho’ man and dancer supreme in his free time - started to break down, sobs racking his body as he fell to the ground next to Baekhyun. Sehun too, looking miserable, squatted next to Jongin. Baekhyun sighed and looked up at the sky which seemed to match the current atmosphere, dark overcast clouds swirling. A slight breeze was beginning to pick up in the still air. 

Smiling, Baekhyun exhaled. 

“You know why you idiot." 

Jongin laughed weakly and Sehun managed a lackluster smile. 

“You’re the real idiot hyung."

\-------

Baekhyun double checked his pack. He had all the necessities. The explosives and firearms were also stored carefully in the back flap of his pack. Sehun had given him his last pack of cigarettes and Jongin had given him his Swiss Army knife. In return, Baekhyun had given them his dog tag. In the event he got caught, at least the enemy would never know whose body it was they had. Still, Baekhyun had assured them he was going to come back and they had agreed, yet he still found himself with their two most prized possessions. They had also helped him deliver his letter to his mother. Even paid for postal. Baekhyun shuddered, before adjusting the straps of his pack more securely. He was going to come back alive. He knew it.

\-------

Things went bad faster than he expected.

For one, Junmyeon had given him inaccurate details on where exactly the camp was located. Secondly, he had underestimated the numbers of the North Korean defences. 

Which was exactly how Baekhyun found himself staring down the barrel of a gun, his own rifle lost somewhere in the dense woods. 

“Dogs of the south," the man spat, pressing towards Baekhyun.

Baekhyun could feel the thick smell of body odour and cigarette smoke permeating the air. Judging from his unkempt appearance, and the blue arm band around his arm, Baekhyun suspected he was part of the watchguard team. At least for tonight.

This was too early. He wasn’t going to die like this, not now, not so soon. 

The man laughed as he watched Baekhyun squirm under him. He was too heavy for Baekhyun to unseat and Baekhyun couldn’t reach the dagger hidden in his back pocket. As the man leered down at him, Baekhyun felt the warm ring of metal press tightly against his forehead. He could feel the bile churning in his stomach. 

“You look like you’re gonna piss your pants. So, who sent you here and why?” 

Baekhyun smiled. He spat in the man’s face, and this time it was his turn to laugh. His laughter was cut short when he heard the rifle being checked for bullets. It  _ clicked. _

“Yes, forgotten who’s holding the gun have you? Not such a brave guy anymore huh?”

Baekhyun held his breath as he felt the gun press tightly back against the creases of his forehead.

“You know, you’re lucky you’re not a girl," the man chuckled, and Baekhyun felt his insides freeze. 

Baekhyun felt the man’s gaze rake across his body, scanning him, before finally resting on his face. 

“You don’t have half that bad a face." The words were whispered cruelly. 

Baekhyun saw red. 

Summoning every inch of strength he had, he used his legs to push the man off his hips. He knew something was wrong when he immediately tried to stand, only to feel pain lash up his ankle, hot and burning. He would have doubled back to the ground, if not for his survival instincts which were giving him the all-too-subtle message to run before he fucking died. 

He had never run faster in his life. From behind he could hear shouting and the crack of bullets streaking across the air. The clearing was right in front of him. He was nearly there. Baekhyun could hear the shouts receding into the woods. He was going to make it. He was almost there. He was almost- 

“You sure do give a man a run for his money."

Standing right in front of him was  _ the man _ . The man who was supposed to be chasing him in the woods, lost somewhere

“What’s wrong sweetheart? Done running now? I know this place like the back of my hand. You southerners can’t compare." The M18 57mm was surreptitiously trained on his face. 

“You...You’re disgusting. How can you even suggest…” Baekhyun recoiled. He felt like choking. 

The man smiled as he adjusted his grip on the gun, its point never leaving Baekhyun’s face. 

“Look, I’ve been on the frontline preparing for this war for what, almost five years now? You think I have time to go home, visit my wife? You’re too young to understand”. 

Baekhyun could feel himself trembling. His legs wouldn’t stop shaking, and his ankle felt like it was on fire. He was going to die here. He was going to die horribly, stripped of his dignity, left naked and defenseless. 

He was going to die and  _ no one would know.  _

The tears were sliding down his face now, quick and unnumbered. Baekhyun blinked, but all that did was make his vision blurry. If God was kind, or if there was even a God, maybe he would make it quick. A painless ordeal before, and after, blessing him with a single bullet. 

Baekhyun hadn’t realised that the man had begun stalking forward until he felt his hot breath fan across his cheek, and the butt of the gun press securely against his stomach. 

“If you don’t struggle, I’ll do it fast." The man’s voice was coarse, and Baekhyun could feel something hard press into his inner thigh. 

This was it. Baekhyun shut his eyes as he felt the hands plunge into his pants. All his life he had never imagined the end to be like this. He had seen himself living, growing old, watching his children play at the porch, later, watching his grandchildren play in the porch. And when it was his time to go, it would be quiet, uneventful. People would be sad, but not terribly, because in the end, he had lived a long, happy and full life. 

Instead, life decided to give him a reality check, and he would die on the battlefront like  _ this _ . 

_ Eomma,  _ he thought,  _ I’m sorry for being such a bad son. For not staying when you needed me. And for Baekbeom too. We both promised to come back alive, and we both failed you in the end. Maybe you’ll forgive us someday. _

Baekhyun was full on sobbing now. He couldn’t tell what was going on, his mind just a single dazed and pained blur. So when the shot came, it didn’t startle him initially. 

It was the body dropping to the ground that did it. 

The man was on the ground. He could feel warm liquid soaking his socks. 

When Baekhyun looked back up, he decided that the new person standing before him looked strange. He was tall and had big ears. He was staring, not at Baekhyun, but at his rifle, both with a mixture of shock and amazement. When he lifted his eyes to Baekhyun’s though, his gaze shifted more towards anger. 

Baekhyun had never seen such deep intense eyes. Eyes that blazed with an anger that made Baekhyun shiver uncontrollably. As the man started forward towards him, his hands outstretched, Baekhyun did something he never did before. 

He started screaming. 

He was screaming so loud, he felt each breath of air being sucked out of his lungs.  _ This must be the devil. He’s here to punish me for sinning with another man. I’m going to hell and I’ll rot there I’m- _

The next thing he knew, the ground was rushing up to meet him, and Baekhyun saw black this time, in exchange for red.

\-------

A warm, comforting palm was smoothing out his forehead. Baekhyun could hear the light pitter patter of rain. He must be at home. And it was his eomma. She must be stroking his hair again. He nuzzled against her palm. 

Then the wonderful and welcomed heat was hastily retracted. 

Baekhyun opened his eyes groggily. Above him, a pale, worried face swam into view. Baekhyun could feel tears start to well up in his eyes again. He wasn’t at home. He wasn’t with his mother. He didn’t even know where he was. Trying to sit up, Baekhyun felt his head pounding. He groaned as he pressed a hand against his forehead. 

“Wait, I really wouldn’t do that. You’re having a pretty high fever and you twisted your ankle so you should just lie down and”- 

The stranger hadn’t even finished his sentence before Baekhyun had whipped out Jongin’s swiss army knife and had the blade pinned against the stranger’s throat. In Baekhyun’s pain dazed mind, he saw the man’s eyes darken and Baekhyun felt his heart beat a little faster. Before he knew it, a firm hand was gripping his wrist which was holding the knife. He didn’t know why things were moving so slowly. It was as if he was suspended in honey and was watching everything in slow motion. 

“Let go, or I’ll break your wrist." 

Baekhyun’s brain was too foggy to really process anything that was going on. The man’s gaze was intensifying by the second, and Baekhyun could feel  _ his _ hand shake too. 

Baekhyun didn’t know what made him do it. Somewhere in the back of his brain, way, way, back, he could hear someone screaming (probably Junmyeon) about how he was never, never supposed to disarm or surrender to an enemy, lest he bring shame to the motherland forever. 

He let go of the knife. 

It clattered uselessly against the stone ground. 

Baekhyun found himself staring back at the stranger’s face. He had never seen someone who looked so  _ strange.  _ The man’s eyes had lightened significantly, and Baekhyun could see a smile playing on his lips. He frowned as he tried to move, before he realised what a compromising position he was in. He had launched himself forward, so he was balanced precariously against the man’s lap, elbows on his knees. The man himself was pressed against a stone wall. 

Baekhyun blushed and dropped his eyes immediately. Somehow his brain and body just didn’t seem to cooperate this time. Baekhyun had given instructions to  _ just  _ his eyes but somehow he felt his body crumple bonelessly against his will power. He would have hit the ground, and hard, if it hadn’t been for the man. 

“Careful. You need to rest a bit more." 

Baekhyun couldn’t really process what was going on, but he felt himself being lifted by a secure pair of arms, and laid back against something soft. His eyes seemed to get heavier as he looked back at the man. The man was smiling more fully now, and Baekhyun saw his eyes crinkle in amusement. 

It was the last thing he saw before he felt himself sinking surely back into the darkness. But even though he saw black for the second time, he couldn’t rid himself of the fond smile that seemed to permeate even the darkness of his brain. 

\-------

The second time he woke up, the rain had stopped, and now at least, Baekhyun thought his head didn’t weigh at least three pounds. Baekhyun groaned as he pressed the heel of his palm against his forehead. 

“Headache right? I can only imagine." Baekhyun heard the same deep voice he had been chasing in his dreams start chuckling. 

Looking round, Baekhyun found the source of the voice. 

In the light of day, Baekhyun decided that he didn’t look  _ that  _ strange after all. In fact, he looked pretty good. A shock of unruly hair, big eyes and with the largest ears Baekhyun had ever seen on a person. Baekhyun stared at this foreign man. He didn’t seem as shiny as he did in his dreams. And his hair wasn’t pink.

The look on the man’s face shifted from slight mirth to sudden concern. 

“What’s up? Is there something on my face?" Baekhyun watched in amusement as the man started poking his face, frowning. 

Baekhyun giggled, before suddenly doubling over in pain. He clutched his stomach which suddenly felt as if it was on fire. 

“Woah, easy there. I think you need to eat something. When’s the last time you ate?” 

It was with those words that Baekhyun suddenly froze, an awful realisation hit him as to where he really was. He backed up so fast that he smacked his head against the cave wall. He felt himself trembling and Baekhyun wrapped his arms around himself. He was alone, weaponless, and looking down, his camo suit had been discarded and he was in his simple cargo pants and a thin shirt. 

“What do you want? What...what have you done to me?” Baekhyun choked as he stared at the man, whose facial expression had shifted from concern to alarm. 

“Wait, no I haven’t done anything, I-” Baekhyun watched in terror as the man started to stand up and walk towards him. He was tall, incredibly tall. Baekhyun saw his defined muscles shift as the guy tried to approach him cautiously. 

He freaked then. 

He launched himself at the man. It didn’t matter that he had no weapons. His fists were enough. It was flesh against flesh, skin chafing skin, and Baekhyun, Baekhyun who had always ranked last during arm to arm combat, who was the smallest in his military class, Baekhyun was going to give this guy  _ hell.  _

Baekhyun had all his body weight against the man, who was trapped beneath him, spluttering and shouting as he tried to push Baekhyun off him. Just as Baekhyun raised his fist, he felt something hard collide against his stomach. Baekhyun gasped, momentarily winded. But that was enough. The guy rolled him over, and now it was Baekhyun’s turn to be pinned below. He felt his head hit something sharp, and for a second, his vision blurred. 

When he came to, the guy was grinning at him, despite the split lip and the reddening mark on his cheek. 

“You fight really well for someone half starved you know." 

Baekhyun snarled as he tried to fight against the wrists holding him down. The guy’s eyes widened fractionally before his smile grew wider. 

“Park Chanyeol. Sangsa of the KPA, Platoon 312." 

Baekhyun was so shocked that he stopped struggling all together. The number one rule of all military proceedings was that you never  _ ever  _ reveal your rank, let alone your name, to an offending force. To do so was one of the worst rules to break in the standard military handbook that had been engraved in every soldier’s brain. 

The crazy guy seemed to find Baekhyun’s shock amusing, because he started to laugh. Baekhyun stared in wonder at how the man’s entire face seemed to light up. It made Baekhyun feel like smiling and laughing too. 

“But to answer your earlier question of what I’ve done to you," Baekhyun watched, both in equal parts of fear and worry as the man’s expressive eyes darkened in anger. The grip on his wrists tightened. The guy smiled wryly.

“I guess I’ve just saved your life."

\-------

This was possibly the weirdest experience in Baekhyun’s life. He was sitting in a dank but still cozy cave, eating a sweet potato as the crazy guy, wait,  _ Chanyeol,  _ wrapped his ankle and made a splint for him. 

“Yeah so basically I just couldn’t stand by and watch him do all those gross stuff, especially after what he said, and you looked so sad and all so I knew I had to step in, but anyway I never really liked that guy anyway he’s really mean but don’t worry I didn’t shoot him dead I-” 

Chanyeol broke off as he looked up and saw Baekhyun staring at him. Baekhyun blushed and immediately dropped his eyes back to his potato. He didn’t know why, but this Chanyeol guy made him feel weird things he had never felt before. 

“You know, you don’t speak very much, do you?” Baekhyun looked up to see Chanyeol looking at him tenderly. Baekhyun could feel the back of his neck start to get warm. 

“Okay, it looks like I have to do all the talking. What’s your name?” 

“Why?” 

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun strangely. 

“What do you mean ‘why’? I just asked for your name like any normal person would." 

Baekhyun felt himself shaking. 

“Why did you save me! Don’t you hate us? _ Why didn’t you just leave me to die?” _

Baekhyun could feel the tears sliding down his face, hot and quick. He hated feeling this weak. He was too upset to do anything, even when Chanyeol had moved forward, too close for a lucid Baekhyun. He could feel the warm heat radiating from Chanyeol’s palms as they cupped his face, securely, yet gently at the same time. 

“Look, I couldn’t bear to see you die that way. I...I just couldn’t ok? I saw you begin to cry and then I don’t know what happened, something snapped and I just-” Chanyeol took a deep breath and Baekhyun stared into those deep dark eyes, mesmerised and terrified at the same time. 

Chanyeol didn’t respond again immediately and Baekhyun could feel the man’s hands trembling against his cheeks. 

“It was the first time I ever deliberately took someone’s life. I mean, I’ve shot people before for self defense, but that time, it was the first time I ever wanted to actually  _ kill  _ someone." Baekhyun held his breath as he watched Chanyeol take another shaky breath. 

“I...it’s been hard for me too." 

Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol started to break in front of him, the tears falling slowly, before sliding more and more rapidly down flushed cheeks. The warm hands had slid from Baekhyun’s cheeks down to his shoulders. Chanyeol was  _ trembling _ as his hands gripped Baekhyun’s shoulders so hard that it hurt. This was completely different from the man just a few seconds ago and Baekhyun was absolutely floored. 

“My… my name’s Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun." 

Chanyeol didn’t hear Baekhyun’s whispered words and he continued crying. Baekhyun could see that each tear drop that fell on the stone ground formed a perfect complete circle. 

“I said, my name’s Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun." 

Chanyeol looked up at that, and Baekhyun, his eyes blurry with tears, smiled back at him. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Sangsa Park."

Baekhyun felt his defenses start to crumple and the floodgates open again. They spent the next few minutes their arms wrapped around each other as they sobbed into the other’s shoulder. 

\-------

Baekhyun conceded that in the end, Chanyeol was an okay guy. Sure he was a little energetic at times, maybe a little  _ too  _ energetic and not always sane, but still, okay. 

“So I’m thinking your best bet is to go round the fortress. Not gonna tell you what’s inside the fortress for good reason but anyway, you came in from the south gate right?” 

A brief nod. 

“Okay, so I don’t think you can go that way anymore. You should use the north gate, go towards beomeosa temple and plead sanctuary. They won’t turn you down." 

Chanyeol flashed him a full-tooth smile and Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel his own lips pull up involuntarily. 

“I can accompany you as far as Uisangbong peak. We’ll have to be extra careful then. You’ll see why there. So, you game?” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes before nodding at Chanyeol. 

“I mean, it’s not like I can say no right? Anyway, you know this place better than me." 

Chanyeol grinned. 

“Damn right I do! Come, let me test your foot." 

Baekhyun felt his ears heat up when Chanyeol suddenly moved directly in front of him and gingerly eased Baekhyun’s foot into his lap. Baekhyun winced involuntarily as he felt Chanyeol prod the swollen and throbbing area. Chanyeol glanced up immediately at Baekhyun’s twitch. 

“Pain?” 

Baekhyun immediately shook his head. 

“No, just reflex," Baekhyun lied, smiling serenely at Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol stared at him silently for a few moments and Baekhyun felt the hairs stand up at the back of his neck before Chanyeol suddenly scoffed and shook his head at him. 

“Yeah, right. I’ll give it another few days or so before you’re able to walk again properly," Chanyeol sighed.

The air was still for a prolonged period as Baekhyun struggled to find his voice which had lodged painfully at the back of his throat. 

“How long before they notice you’re gone?” 

Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol’s shoulders visibly tensed before drooping resolutely again. 

“A week max? It’s easy to get lost in the forest. Unless Kim has already raised the alarm or something." 

Baekhyun felt his insides churn as he thought back to the past few days. His dreams had been dogged by a bloodied face and the square barrel of a gun pointed roundly at him. 

Sometimes the gun fires and Baekhyun watches in real time as his brain juices are splattered across the floor, along with the long string of intestines somehow gutted from his body. 

The first time it happened Baekhyun had woken up screaming and brandishing his knife, almost slashing Chanyeol clean across the face. Since then he had been confiscated of his items, and he hadn’t even put up a fight with Chanyeol. He didn’t like waking up his hands clammy with sweat around the hilt of the blade. 

“Hello? Earth to Byun?” 

Baekhyun blinked almost sluggishly to see Chanyeol shaking his hand at him. 

“Do you always do that? Like stone out all the time?” Chanyeol was scratching the back of his neck, something he did often when he was embarrassed or feeling awkward. 

Baekhyun had always been a keen observer of people, and Chanyeol was no exception. That was part of the reason why he trusted Chanyeol so much. Chanyeol was so transparent Baekhyun could literally read him like a book. 

“You should get some sleep. I’ll take first watch," Baekhyun gently said. Chanyeol’s eyebags were becoming darker as the hours passed. 

Chanyeol smiled at him, and Baekhyun didn’t know why, but he could feel butterflies in his stomach, their wings incessantly pounding against his lungs and making it almost hard to breathe. He didn’t know what exactly it was about Park Chanyeol that made him feel this way, but Baekhyun had decided sometime long ago that it wasn’t all that bad a feeling. 

“You know, I feel like I know you from somewhere." 

Baekhyun almost didn’t catch Chanyeol’s soft words, a faint buzz in the chaotic background of Baekhyun’s mind. Instead, Baekhyun chose to pose another question.

“If we win the war, what are you going to do?”

Chanyeol was silent for such a long time that Baekhyun thought he had fallen asleep. Just when he had given up hope, Chanyeol’s deep voice was breaking the eerie silence again. 

“I’d meet my sister. She’s in Seoul working as a radiocaster. I haven’t seen her in six years." Baekhyun could almost see the sad smile forming on Chanyeol’s lips. 

“And if  _ we  _ win the war, what are  _ you  _ going to do?” 

“I’d meet my halmeoni. I haven’t seen her in six years too." 

With that, their laughter was ringing round the dense and oppressive cave, and Baekhyun felt some of the weight that had been on his shoulders start to lift. For once in a long long time, Baekhyun felt happy, and then Chanyeol stopped laughing and the weight seemed to tumble back down, crushing Baekhyun beneath. 

\-------

Baekhyun watched in slight apprehension as Chanyeol threw vines across the opening of the cave and kicked the dead leaves over their tracks and campfire. 

“I think I’ve covered it pretty well right?” Chanyeol looked over to Baekhyun worriedly. 

Baekhyun tried to shrug elegantly, but he had forgotten about the heavy haversack strapped across his back so it made him look like he was giving a painful roll of his shoulders. 

Chanyeol snorted. “I’ll take that as a yes then." 

\-------

“It’s a pretty long walk from here, about three or so hours, but with your foot I’d guess it’ll probably take us four." 

Baekhyun immediately opened his mouth, ready to apologise and tell Chanyeol he was fine and perfectly capable of walking on his own, but Chanyeol gave him  _ the look _ and Baekhyun knew it would be useless. It was funny how Baekhyun had only known Chanyeol for a couple of days, and yet he already knew all of Chanyeol’s nuances and funny quirks. 

They were silent for the next kilometre or so, but Baekhyun couldn’t stop the burning question just at the tip of his tongue. 

“Yeol-ah, I’m really sorry but I just don’t understand why you would go to such lengths to help me, I mean it’s not like we’re friends or-”

The look that Chanyeol gave him was so poisonous that Baekhyun immediately shut up. 

“After all we’ve been through and you still don’t consider us friends? I already chalked you up as my number two best friend on the first day! I am so offended right now." Chanyeol’s voice had turned whiny and Baekhyun saw a pout forming on his lips.

Baekhyun laughed. “Okay fine we’re definitely friends, but still, why would you want to help me so much I mean I just don’t get it?” 

Chanyeol sighed and Baekhyun could see his ears start to turn pink. Chanyeol avoided Baekhyun’s eyes as he trudged forward, his boots killing every plant in view. 

“I don’t know okay? That’s just what friends do. They help each other out." Chanyeol’s voice was gruff and he was fiddling with the magazine of his gun. 

Baekhyun didn’t know why, but he felt his heart drop a little at that answer. He couldn’t even pinpoint why. He decided to change topic instead. 

“You said I’m your number two best friend. So who’s number one? Your girlfriend?” 

If it was possible for Chanyeol’s ears to flush even more, they would be burning red by now. His answer was so soft that Baekhyun didn’t even catch it. 

“What? I didn’t hear-” 

“I said I don’t like girls alright? I don’t have a girlfriend." 

Baekhyun glanced up at Chanyeol immediately, and saw that his cheeks were pink, and he was gripping his rifle so hard that his knuckles were turning white. Suddenly, those hands were gripping his, and Baekhyun felt the pressure against his palms, harsh and unrelenting. Chanyeol’s eyes were locked with his and Baekhyun found he couldn’t look away, not even if he wanted to. 

“You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone. You can’t. They’d strip me of my uniform and they’ll go after my appa and eomma, and they’ll...they’ll kill me." 

Baekhyun stared wide eyed and in shock, the breath almost snatched away from him. 

“You...you like boys?” 

The hands on his started shaking. Baekhyun took a deep breath. All his years in military training, at school, none of them had ever taught him how to approach a situation like this. Baekhyun tried to smile, but even to him it felt too forced, too false. 

“There’s nothing wrong with liking boys, I mean… it’s just a little unexpected and-” Baekhyun broke off at the stricken look on Chanyeol’s face. The tight grip over his hands were loosening, and Baekhyun started to feel Chanyeol slowly start to slip away. 

“Okay wait maybe I put that a little wrongly, wait don’t you dare move away you stupid giant!” Baekhyun grabbed Chanyeol’s hand back and squeezed it as hard as he could. Chanyeol, having never seen Baekhyun so aggressive, could only give in, although his mouth was wide open in shock.

“What I meant to say is that it doesn’t matter who you like or whatever. I mean, love is love right? So does it really matter? Anyway, it’s not like we’re going to last very long out here on the battlefield and all so…” 

Baekhyun felt a real genuine smile unfurl across his lips, and he squeezed Chanyeol’s hand again. 

“It’s okay to love who you want to. I don’t judge." 

Chanyeol was staring at him with a look that Baekhyun couldn’t quite place. It was almost like the same look that Sehun and Jongin had given him just a few days ago. It was one of relief, immense relief, and yet a shadow of understanding that Baekhyun had meant what he said, sincerely, and without a single hint of sarcasm of malice in it. 

Chanyeol gave Baekhyun a shaky smile. “I’ve never told anyone before. I’ve really never." And then he was laughing, gasping and doubling over with laughter. 

“I’ve never felt so… light." 

If Baekhyun had thought that Chanyeol’s previous smiles were the brightest he had ever seen, the smile Chanyeol was giving him now was dazzling. Baekhyun couldn’t help but grin back. 

“What are friends for right?”

They held each other’s hand for the rest of the trek, the other ready on their rifle, a contrast of cool metal to pulsing warmth.

\-------

“We’re nearing Uisangbong peak." Chanyeol’s voice was hushed, and Baekhyun could detect the underlying anxiety that lay beneath. 

“There’s a watchtower nearby. The fourth one along the fortress. We’ll have to scout around it. I know one of the guys who’s on duty today. But either way, let’s not test that ok?” 

Baekhyun nodded. The past few hours with Chanyeol had been nice, even if the trek through the dense forests hadn’t been. They had steadily learned more about each other, and Baekhyun had found out that Chanyeol was even from the same place as his halmeoni. 

If they weren’t talking then they just spent the trek together in a companionable silence. Baekhyun had never felt this comfortable with someone, even when they weren’t speaking at all. Actually, Baekhyun had never had so many life changing experiences with another person before, compared to Chanyeol, whom he had just met four days ago. 

Chanyeol let go of his hand, and Baekhyun didn’t know why, but he felt his heart drop a little. 

“This is the plan okay. There are currently three watchguards on duty now. We’re gonna wait a short while till it gets dark and then when I give the signal I want you to run as fast as you can to the next nearest peak, Wonhyobong peak. There’s a wooded path straight to Beomeosa temple. You won’t miss it. It’s the only path.” 

Chanyeol grinned as he saw Baekhyun’s face light up. 

“Beomeosa temple. That’s where our troops are stationed." 

Chanyeol whistled. “Not a bad place for a station." 

Baekhyun grinned back.

“So how are you going to distract them?” 

Chanyeol grinned, and Baekhyun caught that scary glint of ferocity he saw the last time Chanyeol had pinned him to the ground so fast that his head had cracked. 

“With this little baby," Chanyeol said with relish as he pulled out a little green lined capsule from his inner pocket. Baekhyun gasped. 

“That’s a flash bomb! How did you even get hold of that?” Baekhyun whined as Chanyeol smirked at him. 

“That’s so unfair. They’re grade A and only available to Wonsas.” Baekhyun sighed in envy. 

“Too bad your military’s too shit to afford these.” Chanyeol chortled, but upon catching Baekhyun’s glare he shut up immediately. 

“Okay, anyway, this will distract them for a while so don’t worry too much about it.” Chanyeol offered Baekhyun a reassuring smile, giving him a thumbs up. 

“Yeol-ah, I don’t know about this. It seems a little risky…” 

Chanyeol rolled his eyes as he neatly pocketed the capsule back into his jacket front. 

“Stop sweating it. Anyway, unless you have a better idea to get yourself back?” Baekhyun frowned and shook his head, but still couldn’t deny the unsettling feeling in his stomach. 

They stood around in silence as the sun slowly began to set. The flashlight from the watchtower was switched on by now and was circling the perimeter. Chanyeol poked Baekhyun in the side, and Baekhyun knew it was time. 

“Chanyeol, I don’t know how to say this, but thank you. Thank you for everything, for-” Baekhyun was rudely interrupted by Chanyeol’s waving of a hand and a scoff. 

“Come on Byun, don’t get all sappy with me now," Chanyeol’s voice was rough as he tilted his face away from Baekhyun’s and towards the shadows. 

“Till next time Sangsa Byun," Chanyeol smiled as he extended a hand towards Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun was never an impulsive person, hell, he was the most cautious, rigid, anal person he knew ever. But in that moment, Baekhyun threw away all the rules and reached up on his tippy toes to give Chanyeol a hug. Chanyeol stilled for a moment, caught off guard, before strong arms were encircling his body and reciprocating the hug. Baekhyun could feel his heart smattering wildly against his ribcage, and Baekhyun hoped Chanyeol couldn’t hear the rapid heartbeats he was sure was echoing throughout the forest. 

“Guy’s aren’t supposed to hug, you know." Chanyeol’s voice was slightly muffled and gruff against Baekhyun’s hair. 

“Well, I’ve already broken all the rules with you, might as well break a few more." 

Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol smile into his hair, and the smile was still intact even as Baekhyun unwillingly pulled away. 

“Till next time Yeol-ah."

The smile on Chanyeol’s face seemed to wither slightly and turn a little sadder. 

“Till next time."

\-------

Baekhyun stood stock still, his back against the tree. Twice, the flashlight had swept this area, but luckily for him, Mr Tree had blocked most of it. He was waiting for Chanyeol’s flash. Chanyeol has assured him that he would be able to hear it, even if he was kilometres away. Baekhyun glanced down at his feet. Anytime now…

_ Crack!  _

It wasn’t really the sound Baekhyun was expecting, but it was loud enough to make Baekhyun’s ears pop, and he was pretty sure this was the signal. Baekhyun took a deep breath before he was sprinting across the clearing. 

Things went bad almost immediately. Baekhyun had a hand pressed tightly against the stitch that was already forming. He could hear alarmed shouts in the background, but Baekhyun didn’t dare look back. Not even when the flashlight came to a stop on his body. When the light fell on him Baekhyun knew that the next few seconds would mean either life or death for him, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let Chanyeol’s efforts go to waste like this. 

He wasn’t going to live just for himself. He had to live for Chanyeol too. 

Baekhyun hit the ground so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. He had never been particularly amazing at flash rolling, but fuck it. It hurt to roll down the hard packed earth like this and Baekhyun was sure he would be covered with bruises the next day. 

If he lived to the next day. 

A second loud bang shook Baekhyun and Baekhyun could hear the shriek even from a distance away. The light had now crossed him and was furiously being directed elsewhere, definitely trying to find Chanyeol this time. 

Baekhyun grinned as he got back up and continued running. He could see the peak now. His nose must have smelled the freedom and sent some instinctive message to his brain and muscles because Baekhyun felt energy surge through hs limbs and he was charging across the forest. He saw the small path before he had even reached the peak properly. He swerved dangerously and pushed his way down the path. Somewhere, down below, Baekhyun could see lights. 

He was so elated that he didn’t watch the small narrow path properly. He tripped, and the next thing he knew he was hurtling down the hill, completely out of control. He felt himself smacking into various trees, and a particular blow to his head made him see stars. Baekhyun groaned as his bag suddenly snared on a shrub, stopping his fall, but still pulling him mercilessly across the now sandy and pebbly ground. Baekhyun felt the sharp stones embed themselves into his palm. He rolled over onto his back, spitting sand and rocks from his mouth. Two heads were staring down at him, and Baekhyun himself saw himself staring down the length of a gun. 

“I’m from the south. My name is-” 

The sudden pain startled him for a moment, and as Baekhyun saw his vision fade before him. 

_ That’s pretty smart. He used the butt of the gun to knock me out.  _

And with that, his vision turned black and Baekhyun passed out.

\-------

There was a really annoying and persistent light that seemed to shine right into his brain even though Baekhyun was really sure that his eyes were shut. Baekhyun tried to sit up, but his head was too heavy. 

He felt himself drift off again, lulled back to a darkness which seemed more comforting than the harsh light.

\-------

_ Voices.  _

First, it was deep tenor that Baekhyun would recognise anywhere. The voice was soft and reassuring and it calmed Baekhyun exponentially, more than he could even comprehend himself. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun croaked, his voice hoarse, as he slowly opened his eyes which seemed to have been sewn shut. 

“Shit Sehun I told you you were too loud." 

Baekhyun couldn’t explain why his heart pummeled in disappointment, even when the voices of his annoying squad mates finally confirmed that he was truly  _ safe.  _ Even then, Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel the hot tears well up in his eyes and spill over his lashes. Baekhyun immediately clasped a hand over his mouth to stop the sob that was threatening to tear it’s way out of his throat. Why was he acting this way? It was irrational, illogical.  _ It didn’t even make sense.  _

Baekhyun felt that he had lost something important even when he didn’t even know what he had lost. 

“Shit! Hyung! Are you okay?” Jongin’s voice was alarmed, and if Baekhyun hadn’t felt so depressed he might have laughed at the sheer absurdity of the situation. 

Baekhyun tried to nod his head but it hurt. 

“Don’t be an idiot Jongin. Of course he’s not okay. Hyung just survived a death mission what do you think?” Sehun’s voice, while annoyed, hid a touch of affection. 

“Hyung, can you sit up?” 

Baekhyun groaned as he tried to prop himself up. His arms collapsed bonelessly against him as he tried to sit up himself. Two strong arms were suddenly gripping his shoulder and pulling him upright. Baekhyun blinked sluggishly, taking in his surroundings. He was currently in the infantry, although it seemed relatively empty at the moment. Even the field nurses weren’t around. 

“Where is everyone?” Baekhyun rasped. His throat felt as parched as the Gobi Desert, and each swallow of saliva felt like he was swallowing knives instead. 

“Woah, Hyung. Let me get you some water first." Jongin immediately stood up and busied himself pouring Baekhyun a glass from the nightstand. Sehun gave a small smile as he fluffed Baekhyun’s pillows. 

“There’s a military meeting today and everyone needs to attend," Sehun gave him a conspiratorial wink, “but of course some of us have better things to do." 

“You shouldn’t blow off things like this." The banter came naturally to Baekhyun, but the hollowness did not. 

“Here Hyung." Jongin carefully handed Baekhyun the glass and helped him with the straw.

The water tasted like a blessing, and it seemed to clear Baekhyun’s head as well. 

“Hyung, we’re really glad you’re alive." Jongin’s voice was deep and husky, and Baekhyun knew from experience that this usually meant Jongin would break into tears real soon. 

Baekhyun frowned at him and rolled his eyes. Or tried to at least. 

“Ohmygod Hyung, what was that? I thought you were going into cardiac arrest or something." Sehun let out a honk of laughter and doubled over. His laugh seemed to break Jongin off his funk as well, and Baekhyun saw him grin back weakly. 

“But anyway,” Sehun’s face turned serious again, “Hyung, how did you manage to...how did you…?” Sehun trailed off, his face screwed in consternation as he tried to come up with the appropriate words. Baekhyun would have laughed at Sehun’s constipated look, only it hurt too much currently. 

“Yeah Hyung, I mean, remember Jonghyun?” Jongin’s voice dropped as he gripped the metal bedframe. 

“He still hasn’t come back from his mission. He was assigned the exact same mission as you, but he still hasn’t come back.” 

“Plus,” Jongin’s voice wavered slightly, “he was sent out earlier than you." 

Baekhyun sighed and closed his eyes briefly. Jonghyun hadn’t made it out, and he was one of the best trackers, miles better than Baekhyun. Junmyeon had sent him on the mission knowing that Jonghyun hadn’t made it. How in the world did he expect Baekhyun to survive? 

Who took Jonghyun out? Chanyeol’s face flashed briefly but Baekhyun dismissed the idea immediately. There was no way Chanyeol would ever do something like that. Another face flashed through Baekhyun’s mind, and Baekhyun felt his insides convulsing. 

“Shit Hyung!” 

Baekhyun dropped the glass onto the floor where it shattered, droplets of water flying across the surface of the dusty ground, forming perfect little bullet stains on the ground. 

“Ohmygod Hyung, what the fuck?” Jongin was on the floor on his knees, hastily scrabbling at the broken glass pieces. 

“Jongin why the hell would you give Hyung a glass cup? Anyway get off the floor what the fuck?” Sehun was shouting, and Jongin was shouting back at him while Baekhyun just stared at the wall. He felt cold all over, and the cold wasn’t just an exterior thing, it seemed to seep right into his bones, chilling him at the core.

Baekhyun didn’t know why, but suddenly, just suddenly, he wished that he had stayed with Chanyeol instead.

\-------

“Still a little sore, but other than that you should be alright in no time at all." The nurse had smiled at him and Baekhyun had tried to force a smile onto his face. 

That had been a week ago, and Baekhyun wished he had stayed injured longer. The moment he had been discharged from the hospital, he had been brought to Junmyeon’s office to discuss his mission, or rather his  _ failure  _ of a mission. 

Junmyeon hadn’t exactly been glad to see him, and Baekhyun remembered how his face had darkened when Baekhyun had set foot in his office. Baekhyun had never wanted to strangle Junmyeon so badly in his life when Junmyeon had raised an eyebrow at him and asked him  _ what the hell did you achieve on this mission Byun? _ Worse still, Junmyeon had demanded Baekhyun tell him how he got back alive, and he hadn’t believed Baekhyun’s story of single handedly escaping by himself. Baekhyun shuddered involuntarily as he recalled Junmyeon’s chilly glare. 

_ “Do you know what’s worse than death? Being saved from it by the enemy."  _

Baekhyun shivered. Luckily he had been saved from answering that question because the mailboy came and Baekhyun used that chance for his speedy escape. Now he was walking across the dark temple grounds to watchguard four, where he would be stationed tonight with Jongin and Sehun. The two of them had been acting weird all day. Baekhyun sighed as he climbed up the metal ladder to the watchtower. Luckily it wasn’t too cold, or else Baekhyun was sure his fingers would freeze to the metal. As he pulled himself over the last rung, Baekhyun was greeted by the most heavenly smell ever.

“Surprise hyung!” 

Sehun and Jongin beamed at him over the small camp stove they had set up over the bunsen burner. Baekhyun stared in amazement at the bubbling red soup with copious amounts of dark chilli oil floating on the surface, dotted with green chives. 

“That’s...that’s…” 

Sehun laughed as he began ladelling the soup out into little tiffin boxes which were already piled with rice. 

“You have to thank Kim Kai here. He used his special connections." 

Jongin blushed furiously as he grabbed a tiffin box and motioned Baekhyun to sit down in the already cramped area. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at Jongin as he took the proffered tiffin box, the scent of kimchi jjigae wafting into the air. 

“How the hell did you manage to get the ingredients to make kimchi jjigae?” Baekhyun took a spoon from Sehun’s hand and started to eat, smiling at the burst of flavour on his tongue, so different from the bland rations and infantry food he had been eating.

“Hyung you should ask the important questions." Sehun smirked. “How the hell did you convince Kyungsoo to cook it for you?” 

Jongin was bright red all the way to the tips of his ears, and Baekhyun personally thought it matched the kimchi brilliantly. 

“Shut up Sehun," Jongin snapped as he started to tuck into his food. “I couldn’t get any pork so I killed a duck. Soo didn’t have radish too so we had to use tapioca." Jongin ducked his head bashfully. “Sorry if the taste isn’t as good." 

Baekhyun grinned through a mouthful of rice. “Sorry? Come on Kim Kai, this is the best meal ever." Baekhyun sighed in contentment. “I thought I’d never taste anything this good for the rest of my life." 

“Yeah, Sehun and I thought it would be nice, especially since you’ve been discharged and all." Jongin’s voice deepened slightly and Baekhyun felt his happy mood dissipate slightly 

The past week or so had been difficult. Initially, Jongin and Sehun hadn’t noticed the subtle changes in Baekhyun. They hadn’t really noticed that he had gotten quieter, or that he had began dazing out more easily. Things had gone terribly when Jongin, out of force of habit, had slung his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder to tell him something. To say that he had reacted badly would be an understatement. 

Since then Jongin and Sehun had been painfully aware around Baekhyun, treading around him slowly like he was made of glass. As stupid as Jongin and Sehun acted sometimes, Baekhyun  _ knew _ how sharp they were, and he was sure they’d put two and two together regarding his fortuitous escape. 

Baekhyun sighed. He hated how frequently he seemed to be doing this. He put down the chopsticks and stared hard at the kimchi jjigae’s oily surface, so smooth he could see Jongin’s worried glance thrown towards Sehun, afraid that Baekhyun would start zoning out again.

“I know you guys want to ask so just do it." Baekhyun looked up to see Sehun’s and Jongin’s startled expressions. Baekhyun let out a small smile. 

“There shouldn’t be any suspicions in our platoon." 

Sehun immediately glanced at Jongin, just as Jongin turned to do the same. It was funny, Baekhyun mused, he knew Jongin and Sehun so well that he could literally see the cogs screwing in their heads. 

“Well Hyung…” Sehun hesitated, and Baekhyun braced himself for what he knew was coming. 

“We don’t want you to have to feel compelled to tell us anything-” Jongin started. 

“Don’t play around Jongin. Just ask what you want to know." Baekhyun drew a shaky breath before giving Jongin and Sehun a hard stare. 

Sehun sighed. “Hyung, we really didn’t want it to come to this, we know what happened was private and all but," Sehun shrugged, “it’s affected our dynamics, and we need to figure out what’s… what’s wrong before we can solve it properly. Especially since we have a huge fight next week." Sehun’s voice was soft and Baekhyun didn’t have to look to see the guilt etched across his face. 

“Sehun-ah, Jongin-ah, what I experienced, it’s not something that’s easy to recount, or easy to relate to either." Baekhyun gulped. “I don’t want your impression of me to be affected after I tell you what happened." Baekhyun’s voice shook. That was his true fear, that his squad mates, his juniors, his  _ friends  _ would hate him, despise him after hearing what he did or what happened. 

Baekhyun never knew words could be as terrifying as wielding a gun. 

“Oh hyung." Jongin smiled. “We’ve been through hell and back together. No matter what you say, nothing’s going to change that fact, that we’ll always be here for each other." 

Baekhyun blinked as he felt the hot tears prickle his eyes, tempting to slide down his cheeks. 

“I was caught."

Baekhyun felt the breath catch in his throat as Sehun and Jongin’s mouths dropped. 

“I was caught, and the man, he… he wanted to do… do things with me. And I couldn’t stop him." Baekhyun’s breaths were becoming more and more uneven, and he could feel his body shaking as he drew his knees to his chest. 

“Hyung, it’s ok, you don’t-” 

Baekhyun shook his head forcefully, cutting off Sehun. 

“I thought it was the end Sehunnie. I gave up. I surrendered my rifle." Baekhyun felt the hot tears gushing down his cheeks, so hot Baekhyun thought he was going to get scalded. 

“I was going to die. I knew it. But then  _ he  _ came." Baekhyun felt a sudden warmth flashing through his chest just at the mere thought of the friendly face. 

“He came and saved me. He helped me recover, and later, got me back here." The last few words were whispered and Baekhyun shut his eyes, unable to take the stunned silence from both Sehun and Jongin. 

The warm arms came as a shock to him. Baekhyun’s eyes flew open, to see that he was now nestled between Jongin and Sehun, both of whom had their arms wrapped around him. Baekhyun spluttered, about to say something when Sehun’s snarl cut him short. 

“Don’t you dare say anything Hyung. I’m never hugging a man again and if this gets out I’m going to kill you." 

“Same." Jongin’s voice was gruff. 

Sehun and Jongin didn’t say anything more and Baekhyun closed his eyes again and relished in the warmth. 

\-------

Baekhyun decided that today was definitely a bad day. 

At first, everything had seemed okay, he had gotten up, did some stretches with Sehun and Jongin, and then went for first watch. They were in the middle of the first watch when things started to go downhill very fast. Sehun had been called away to meet Junmyeon, and no one had really questioned it. It was only after Sehun failed to reappear after three hours did everyone really start worrying. 

“Hyung. There’s something wrong. I can feel it in my bones." Jongin was worrying his lower lip and Baekhyun frowned at the red that was beginning to blossom there. 

“Stop it. You’re just freaking me out too. I’m sure everything is going to be okay." Baekhyun offered a small smile to Jongin, who grinned half heartedly. 

When it reached five, the two of them made it down the tower together to go to the rec hall. Baekhyun glanced at the second shift members. He didn’t recognise them. They glanced at him and Jongin nervously before giving a short nod of their heads and setting up the ladder. Baekhyun could feel the creases forming along his forehead. 

“Hey, do you know who those two are?” Baekhyun jerked his hand up to the two figures. 

Jongin squinted, before grinning at the sight of the two rumps on the ladder. 

“Don’t think so. I wouldn’t be too bothered by it though. Junmyeon said that some new recruits were coming since our frontline is breaking down." Jongin’s face darkened immediately. 

Baekhyun could feel something nagging at him from the back of his mind, but for the love of all things good, he couldn’t tell what it was for. Shrugging, Baekhyun grudgingly followed Jongin up the dirt path to the rec hall.

\-------

Sehun wasn’t in the rec hall. 

Neither was he in their shared bunk room. 

In fact, Sehun’s bed had been neatly made, and his cubby hole had been cleared of his belongings. Even the bed chests had been cleared of his clothes. 

Baekhyun and Jongin had barely even sat down properly when a messenger boy appeared. Immediately, Jongin narrowed his eyes at the boy, and Baekhyun watched as the boy trembled and averted his eyes hastily before bowing quickly. 

“Jungsa Byun, Hasa Kim. I have a message from General Kim." 

Baekhyun felt his stomach drop even before the boy said what he knew was going to happen. 

“As of today, Byeonjang Oh will no longer be part of platoon 346. A new replacement officer will arrive as soon as possible." 

Next to him, Baekhyun could almost feel the vibrations coming from Jongin’s body; his whole body was tense. 

“Did he say why?” 

The boy blinked furiously as he opened his mouth and closed it again, reminding Baekhyun of a goldfish he had seen in a pond, before a beggar boy had speared it with a stick and the blood and gills had flown everywhere. 

“I’m sorry sir, I didn’t-” 

“I said, did Sehun say why he left?” Baekhyun winced at Jongin’s tone, so sharp he could have cut through glass. The messenger boy trembled, probably sensing the waves of anger rolling out from Jongin. 

“No sir I don’t know anything. I’m just sending a message." The boy frantically shook his head and bowed low. 

Baekhyun watched as the muscle in Jongin’s jaw twitched and his fists began to clench. Lots of girls found Jongin good looking, but Baekhyun was pretty sure none of them had ever seen a full on angry Jongin, because he sure as hell didn’t look very appealing now.

“It’s okay. You can go." Baekhyun nodded to the boy, who immediately ran off without looking back. 

The door swung shut, and Baekhyun exhaled as a column of dust swept upwards. 

“Jongin-ah-” 

“I don’t want to hear it Hyung." Jongin’s voice was harsh, but Baekhyun heard the crack at the end. 

Baekhyun left the room. 

\-------

Baekhyun was glad Jongin hadn’t shown up for dinner. 

Before Baekhyun stepped in, he could already hear the incessant buzzing. His boots had barely crossed the threshold when the hall quietened, making it so silent that Baekhyun could almost hear his own boots clicking across the ground.

Almost. 

_ “...spectacle today. Never saw anyone curse at the commander, even if it’s his cousin."  _

_ “...platoon of weirdos. Thought their officer was dead for good but now he dares show his face again." _

_ “No wonder their numbers keep dwindling. They’re probably cursed."  _

Baekhyun had always been good at drowning out background noise, so he wasn’t too bothered by it. If Jongin was here though, that would have been a different story. 

Baekhyun sat at his table which was devoid of people. It used to be full of noise and laughter. Back then, Jongdae would always sit to his right, cracking lame jokes, while Minseok sat opposite, trying to ignore Jongdae’s lame jokes. Towards the end of the table, Leeteuk would be preaching on about something to Sehun and Jongin, while Jonghyun would try not to laugh. 

Jongdae was taken out by a stray mine at Yesan.

Minseok shot down during the frontline at Taejon. 

Leeteuk’s body, scalded with third degree burns, was found in Nosan. 

Jonghyun never came back from Sanju. 

Now Sehun too had left them, and Jongin was too depressed to come back down.

Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile wryly to himself. It seemed almost poetic that everyone had met their grisly end except for him, and only because he had been helped by the enemy, which was probably even worse than death, some would argue. 

Baekhyun stopped smiling as he thought about Jongin. At least Jongin was here, and Baekhyun knew that as long as he lived, he would never let Jongin die on his watch and become just another statistic to be jotted down into a book.

It was with this wonderful thought in mind that Baekhyun suddenly realised that the hall had indeed fallen completely silent. Looking up, he saw Junmyeon on the stage, clearing his throat into the hastily erected microphone stand. If Baekhyun hadn’t been feeling so terribly shitty about himself at that moment, he would probably have felt some semblance of pity upon seeing Junmyeon. 

The commander looked terrible. His hair had lost its usual sheen, and his face had a turned a sickly white that Baekhyun could only associate with a lack of sleep. As Junmyeon cleared his throat into the mic, the sudden buzz of feedback seemed to jolt everyone as they all suddenly sat up straighter. 

“Comrades, thank you for gathering here on such short notice." Immediately Junmyeon winced at the roll of hushed comments across the hall. Baekhyun knew why. No one ever used the term  _ comrades.  _ It was just too… communist. 

“Soldiers, I mean," Junmyeon quickly added, “times have been tough, and we’ve lost many of our men." Baekhyun felt the iron coil in his stomach tighten involuntarily, and looking at the faces of the others around him, Junmyeon’s comment had struck a nerve. 

“But always remember that their lives have never been lost in vain. Every life here has gone to protecting the motherland, and thus, no one here ought to be discouraged." 

Baekhyun felt like rolling his eyes. Now he knew why Junmyeon was making this stupid speech. The army’s morale must have been so low it made even the higher ups start shaking in their boots. 

“Which is why I want to say," Baekhyun looked back up to see Junmyeon was smiling bravely, a truly genuine smile across his face. 

“I am extremely proud of every man sitting here, and I always will be. Regardless of what happens. I can only hope that you will think the same of me." Immediately Junmyeon sank into a low bow, almost parallel to the ground. 

Scattered applause could be heard, and Baekhyun frowned. He  _ really  _ didn’t get what Junmyeon was on about now. The speech didn’t really make any sense to him. If Junmyeon was trying to boost morale then shouldn’t he be talking about bravery and all those other stuff that all the others officers spouted? 

Judging by the hushed whispers, Baekhyun guessed he wasn’t the only one a little puzzled by Junmyeon’s weird words. Sighing Baekhyun got up to salute Junmyeon just as he saw the others grudgingly do. 

\-------

When Baekhyun reached his bunk, Jongin was already curled up in his bed, his back resolutely facing away from Baekhyun. Baekhyun sighed as he took off his boots and climbed into his own bed. Baekhyun was the type that could fall asleep almost instantly. His eyes were already beginning to feel heavy as he lay in bed, the stillness in the air almost lulling him into slumber.

“Hyung, you don’t think he meant it?” 

Jongin’s voice was soft, so soft, that Baekhyun was sure he would have missed it. Except he didn’t. 

“Leaving us without saying anything?” Baekhyun smiled wryly, his voice hollow even to himself. 

“Jongin-ah if there’s one thing I know," Baekhyun took a deep breath, “is that Sehun would never do something like that willingly. He cared about us. You especially. And he would never hurt the people he cares about." 

Baekhyun wasn’t really expecting a response, but Jongin shifted uncomfortably, before turning completely to face Baekhyun. Jongin’s face was sad, and although he hadn’t been crying at all, Baekhyun could still see the sorrow and weariness etched into Jongin’s face, which made him seem so much older than he was. 

“I hope so hyung. I really hope so." 

\-------

Baekhyun’s mother smiled at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. He was ten again and back in Bucheon. It was summer, and the air was warm against Baekhyun’s skin. Baekhyun felt comfortable, light and fluffy as he laid his head back in her lap. 

Then suddenly the fingers threading through his hair weren’t the soft pads he came to recognize as his mother’s, but rather something more rough and calloused, the heat from the large hands sending jolts down Baekhyun’s spine. Baekhyun felt hot all of a sudden, and when he opened his eyes the face smiling back down at him wasn’t his mother’s, but of a young man, who was so handsomely familiar it took Baekhyun’s breath away. The man pressed his other palm squarely into Baekhyun’s cheek, and Baekhyun could smell ash and gunpowder, a strange smell but comforting all the same.

And then, the hand was drawing away just as quickly as it came, and Baekhyun frowned. The ground seemed to dissolve beneath him and suddenly he was falling, falling, falling- 

“Hyung!” 

Baekhyun opened his eyes immediately. Jongin was shaking him so hard that Baekhyun could feel his teeth rattling. 

“Get up Hyung get up!” Jongin was screaming as he pulled Baekhyun’s arms, trying to drag him out of bed. 

Even though Baekhyun’s brain was still hazy with sleep, he felt his body act on auto pilot, immediately straightening, pushing himself out of bed and slipping on his shoes. Within seconds he was on his feet, and as the blood rushed to his brain, Baekhyun’s vision seemed to sharpen in real time, all his senses switching on as he widened his eyes. 

The sound of panicked screams and gunshots were ringing throughout the bunks, and as Jongin dragged him along past burning corridors, Baekhyun saw bodies strewn across the hallways, some with the skin scalded of, the red of flesh spilling out of wounds. 

He felt like puking. 

Jongin stopped as they neared a body, kneeling quickly as he pulled the pistol out from the man’s waist pocket while trying to pry out the rifle from his hands. The dead man’s fingers were clenched so tightly around the gun that Jongin grabbed the butt of the pistol and positioned them over the fingers. The sickening crunch could have been heard from miles away even in the chaos. Baekhyun winced as he grabbed the pistol from Jongin, before pulling him up and grabbing his hand as they ran through the barracks. 

Judging from the screams and ringing shots, Baekhyun knew for a fact that any way of escaping through the front or back would be impossible. They had them caged in. But there were other ways of getting out and Baekhyun knew how. He was pretty sure Jongin knew too, seeing as how they had finally reached the canteen. 

Dashing into the pantry, Baekhyun flung the door shut behind them. In front of him, Jongin was already climbing onto the stove and grabbing at the ventilator above him. The ventilator was rusted shut but Jongin grabbed the butt of the rifle and began smashing it against the weak metal. Baekhyun felt like shuddering as he pushed all the tables and chairs towards the door, barricading themselves in. Already, it was as if he could hear the hoots and the firing shots coming closer to them as each second passed. Finally, Baekhyun heard the metal groan as it gave way, revealing the long and musty air pipes, just wide enough for them to squeeze through. 

Jongin looked at him grimly, before climbing into the pipes. Baekhyun took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly, before he too stepped into the vent. 

\-------

The air in the vent was still and stuffy. Baekhyun tried to breathe through his nose, even as the smell of stale air was permeating his nostrils. 

Below them it was as if Baekhyun could feel the tremors pulsing through his body. The shots and groans of bodies hitting the floor. Baekhyun kept going. In front of him, Jongin’s rump was steadily and stealthily moving forward. Jongin was muttering things under his breath but Baekhyun couldn’t hear anything past the ringing in his ears. The vents were beginning to slope down and Baekhyun noticed that there were thin shafts of light dancing across the metal of the vent that his palms were pressed into. 

“There. Almost there." Jongin’s voice still betrayed his fear, but there was a hint of relief. 

“That’s right. Just a bit more Jongin-ah." Baekhyun’s voice shocked himself. He didn’t expect to sound so haggard. 

Baekhyun could now hear the sound of metal battling against metal. In front of him, Jongin was wriggling as he tried to smash through the metal hinges. As the metal groaned Baekhyun knew Jongin had succeeded again. 

The bright light made Baekhyun squint and for a moment all he could see was white. But his body seemed to move on auto pilot, and before he knew it, he was squeezing his way out of the stuffy vent, and his boots were hitting solid packed earth. Jongin started running again immediately. Baekhyun knew where they were. They were along the outskirts of the monastery, near the septic tanks. Just a few hundred metres or so and they would be at the mountain gate, the same gate Baekhyun had tumbled down only weeks ago. 

“Jongin. I know the way, let me lead." 

Baekhyun had muttered the words but Jongin had picked them up nonetheless, as he fell back slightly to let Baekhyun take over. 

This part of the monastery Baekhyun rarely came. It was where the monks, before they had been driven out by the military, kept all their statues and relics. Baekhyun himself had never been particularly devout, so out of pure habit he had never seen the need to come here and pray as compared to some of the others he knew who frequented this place. Now as he and Jongin ran past leafy pathways of decrepit shrines and buddhist statues, Baekhyun could almost swear that they were staring at him. Staring and laughing. Laughing at the sheer patheticness of the situation, of his life in general. Baekhyun shook his head. If he continued thinking like this, he’d never make it back.

_ Chanyeol did so much to keep me alive. I can’t let him down like this.  _

Baekhyun felt confidence swell in him again, and he glanced briefly behind him, flashing a small smile at the grim faced Jongin. 

They were going to make it.

\-------

It was as if they had been running for ages when Baekhyun finally caught sight of the gate. Relief flooded through his body and Baekhyun, forgetting himself for a moment, sprung forward, ahead of Jongin, adrenaline surging through his body as he sprinted towards the gate. 

Baekhyun didn’t see the olive green uniform, so different from the checkered patches of green he was used to. By the time, the alarm bells had begun ringing in full swing in Baekhyun’s head, it was too late. He couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to. Everything seemed to slow down around him, and Baekhyun felt as if he was suspended in honey. He watched as the soldier turned around, preemptively raising his rifle. 

Baekhyun watched as the man’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping and the questioning words of “Baek?” starting to form on his lips. He lowered his rifle immediately, his arms dropping uselessly to his side. 

“Ch… Chanyeol?” 

Chanyeol’s face, which Baekhyun was so used to seeing accompanied by goofy grins, was haggard and lined with exhaustion. Chanyeol himself seemed bent almost, as if the fatigue was crushing him slowly. 

“Baekhyun? Is that really you?”

Chanyeol’s voice was streaked with relief, and Baekhyun saw the beginning of a shaky smile start to unfurl across Chanyeol’s face. 

“You’re alive. I was so worried when I found out about the plans. I wanted to tell you somehow but…” Chanyeol’s voice was choked as he stumbled towards Baekhyun unsteadily. 

The shot stopped Baekhyun short.

Baekhyun watched in real time as Chanyeol, eyes still wide, grasped at his chest. He fell to his knees, coughing, and Baekhyun watched as the ground was splattered red, a deep dark red that was Baekhyun’s least favourite colour in the entire world.

“Chanyeol!” 

Baekhyun didn’t recognise that voice as his own. It sounded too high, too frantic, too utterly desperate. 

And yet he knew, that that voice belonged to him, was his alone, and that scream could belong to nobody else. 

The cold seemed to wash Baekhyun inside out as he stood, rooted to the spot as Chanyeol, on his knees began to slump over, eyes closing before he collapsed into a puddle of his own blood, already pooling across the ground. 

“Hyung! Ohmygod are you alright?” 

Jongin’s voice was loud and desperate, too loud as he began shaking Baekhyun. Baekhyun couldn’t process what was going on, it was as if his soul has disconnected from his body, and he was watching, disconnected as the whole scene unfurled before him, a complete unknown and separate entity. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

Baekhyun wrenched his arm free from Jongin as he sprinted forward towards Chanyeol. Chanyeol’s body was still warm and Baekhyun hastily placed his two fingers against Chanyeol’s the long expanse of Chanyeol’s throat. 

He felt a pulse. 

Relief seemed to flood through Baekhyun like a tidal wave. As long as Chanyeol wasn’t stone cold dead, he would make it through. 

“You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay." 

Baekhyun hoisted Chanyeol’s arm across his shoulder before unsteadily pulling his dead weight up with him. For someone so lithe, Chanyeol weighed like a block of stones.

“Jongin. We have to hurry now. We need to save-” 

Baekhyun hesitated as he looked in front, only to stare down the barrel of a gun. 

Jongin’s hands were trembling as he tried to hold the pistol steady in his shaking hands. 

“What are you doing, Jungsa Byun." 

Jongin’s face was conflicted, and Baekhyun felt his heart break a little as Jongin locked the pistol of the gun, clicking it for bullets. 

“I’m saving a life." 

Jongin’s face contorted and Baekhyun watched the anger flash in his eyes, normally so expressive with its happiness, terrifying in its rage. 

“He’s the enemy." The words were spat out like venom and Baekhyun winced slightly. The sounds of fighting were getting closer, and Chanyeol’s life was slowly beginning to bleed out of him if he didn’t act quickly. 

“He saved my life. I’m returning the favour." 

Baekhyun was shocked at how soft his voice was . 

“Saved your life? Then...he…” Jongin’s voice was strangled, and Baekhyun watched the confusion flash through his eyes, before realisation started to set in. 

“Hyung...you…” 

“Yes Jongin-ah. The enemy saved me. He saved me from getting raped on the battlefield. He looked after me when I was injured. He helped me get back." Baekhyun’s voice was choked and Baekhyun could feel the hot tears streaking down his cheeks. 

“I was a coward. The enemy saved me, I was the one who broke the rulebook. But now, I’ve realised that there’s more important things than following rules set by others. So shoot me then. I’m a traitor." 

Baekhyun closed his eyes, waiting for the shot. At least he would die with Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun felt the weight on his shoulders lessen. Next to him, Jongin was looping his arm across Chanyeol’s shoulder. The pistol was back in the waistband of his pants. 

“Jongin…” 

Jongin glared at Baekhyun, his eyes red rimmed. “Shut up Hyung. Don’t speak otherwise I’ll really shoot you." 

\-------

They had been walking for ages, half dragging Chanyeol along before they finally made it somewhere where they could stop and rest. Jongin had remained silent throughout, and Baekhyun had reciprocated, both because he was afraid that any noise would send soldiers chasing after them and also because he was afraid of what Jongin would say if he gave him the opportunity. 

Jongin found the place first. A little nook, hidden away behind foliage. The cave itself wasn’t unlike the first one Baekhyun had recovered in with Chanyeol. It gave him deja vu, albeit not in the pleasant sense. 

“We have to hurry and stop the bleeding." 

Baekhyun set Chanyeol down on the stone ground before muttering to Jongin as he hastily began peeling away Chanyeol’s camo suit. The cloth was heavy with blood and even as Baekhyun pulled away the dense material, there were still fibres clinging to the gaping and bloody wound. Baekhyun hadn’t so much as exchanged a glance with Jongin before Jongin was nodding and immediately leaving the cave. Baekhyun knew from experience what they would both have to do next and it wasn’t exactly very pleasant. 

With Jongin gone, Baekhyun smoothed the hair on Chanyeol’s forehead, thanking god for the little miracles. If Jongin’s aim had just been a few centimetres to the right, there would be no Chanyeol worth saving even if he wanted to. 

Chanyeol’s eyelids fluttered

“You’re going to be okay. I promise." Baekhyun whispered before he bent down to press a kiss onto Chanyeol’s forehead, gripping his clammy hand. 

The footfalls of Jongin, soft as they were, made Baekhyun sit up. In Jongin’s hands were green wood and two sticks, long and sturdy, supple and slim. Perfect. As Jongin started the fire Baekhyun pulled out the silver dagger from his inner waistband. His reflection stared back at him, pale-faced and scared. Baekhyun looked away. 

Jongin had the fire going. The flame was small but they would have to make do. Gripping the handle of the knife, Baekhyun thrust the blade into the flame. The colours were stunning. It never failed to amaze Baekhyun when the silver reflected the ochre and the blade itself turned scarlet under the heat. Time seemed to inch by, but when Baekhyun saw Jongin start to stand he knew it was time. 

Baekhyun nodded to Jongin as Jongin laid Chanyeol’s head in his lap, pressing down hard on Chanyeol’s arms, limiting any movement. Baekhyun himself straddled himself over Chanyeol, pressing his weight securely against Chanyeol’s thighs. Baekhyun took a deep breath as he gripped the handle of the knife. His hand was surprisingly steady, and although he had only done this once or twice, Baekhyun knew he was ready. Poising the tip above the wound, Baekhyun sunk it into the ripe flesh. 

The response was instantaneous. 

Chanyeol’s eyes flew open as he started to scream, jerking as he tried to unseat Baekhyun, forcing his weight against Jongin. Chanyeol’s voice was guttural, his vocal chords straining against the sheer capacity of pain as Baekhyun wrenched the dagger deeper through the sinew and muscle, gorging out flesh as blood flecked around Jongin and him. 

Chanyeol wailed as Baekhyun continued prodding the knife. He was almost there he could see the tip of bronze beginning to emerge. 

With a tremendous wrench, it came free. 

The soft  _ plink  _ of metal hitting the ground was followed by the drips of blood onto the ground. 

Baekhyun sighed as he took the dagger and wiped it against the cuff of his sleeve. 

Being trained, Baekhyun always stocked a small bottle of iodine in one of his pockets. Now was the right time to use it. 

Chanyeol was breathing heavily and his eyes were dazed. 

“You did well Yeol. You did amazing." Baekhyun whispered as he poured the iodine over the wound with his right hand, his left hand still gripping tightly onto Chanyeol’s. 

Chanyeol’s eyes were closing as he passed out. 

Chanyeol’s hands were still tightly gripping onto Baekhyun’s. 

Everything would be okay now. 

Baekhyun turned to Jongin, only to see Jongin staring, not at Chanyeol, but instead at their intertwined hands. 

Immediately, Baekhyun wrenched his fingers free from Chanyeol’s grasp, the blush blooming across his face. 

“It’s...it’s not what you think. I’m…”

Jongin gave Baekhyun a look that instantaneously had Baekhyun shutting up. 

Jongin suddenly sighed, passing his hand through his hair. 

“Look hyung. It’s been a long day. Why not you rest first I’ll take first watch okay." 

Baekhyun blinked. 

“But...I’m-”

Jongin shot him a glare. 

Baekhyun swallowed before nodding mutely as Jongin turned his back towards him.

\-------

_."..north. What’s it like there." _

_ “It’s a lot greener. More trees."  _

Baekhyun blinked sluggishly, his vision swimming as he struggled to focus his eyes on the rocky ceiling. 

“Hyung. Good thing you’re awake. I can go get some food for us now." 

Baekhyun’s head was still heavy as he watched Jongin start to stand, from where he had been sitting across the fire. 

“Y’all can go ahead and get cozy I suppose." 

Immediately the stark realisation set in and Baekhyun realised where he was and  _ who  _ he was with. 

Sitting up, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol, who similarly was sitting as well, albeit braced against the wall. 

He was shirtless, but a large cloth strip was wrapped across his torso. The cloth was camo green, the same material that had been made to make Chanyeol’s jacket that Baekhyun had ripped off. 

Chanyeol was blushing and Baekhyun winced internally at the subtle innuendo behind Jongin’s words. 

Jongin gave Chanyeol a short nod before he was stalking out of the cave. 

The cave was silent for a few minutes and Baekhyun himself struggled with what to say. 

“Look Baek I-”

“Chanyeol I-”

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol with wide eyes as they both shut up simultaneously. 

Chanyeol shifted uncomfortably, looking down at his hands which seemed to suddenly become more interesting than Baekhyun’s face. 

“It’s ok you go first.”

Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol who tried to smile back, albeit a little strain. 

“I...Thank you for all that you’ve done for me. Helping the wound, dressing it and all I...I can’t say how thankful I am." Chanyeol spoke haltingly, as if afraid to offend Baekhyun with his words. 

“You did the same for me too Yeol. It’s the right thing to do." Baekhyun smiled as he reached forward to take Chanyeol’s hand. 

Chanyeol, as if scalded, immediately pulled his hand away and into his lap. Baekhyun felt his heart drop. A cold shudder seemed to pass through him and Baekhyun could feel himself start to inch away involuntarily. Chanyeol himself was huddled away from Baekhyun, the shadows dancing across his uncertain face. 

The silence seemed to stretch on and Baekhyun could feel the tension, so thick in the air it made him want to choke. Chanyeol broke the silence first. 

“Did you mean it?” 

Baekhyun looked up immediately, blinking as Chanyeol bit his lip nervously, looking at the fire. 

“Mean what?” 

Baekhyun’s voice was barely a whisper but Chanyeol picked it up all the same. 

“The kiss.”

Baekhyun felt his face flush immediately, the heat making his neck prickly. 

“Because, if you don’t mean it...then don’t...don’t do things like that." 

Chanyeol’s voice was soft and Baekhyun could see the pain etched across his face. 

“Don’t play my feelings just because you know…you know that I like you”. 

Baekhyun didn’t know what happened but his body was suddenly surging forward, moving of its own accord as he just seemed to flow towards Chanyeol, a magnetic force pulling him to the source as he climbed into Chanyeol’s lap.

Lips were clashing against teeth, heat against heat as Baekhyun wound his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair, while Chanyeol’s good arm was resting against Baekhyun’s hip. 

Baekhyun could feel the warmth start to pool across his lower belly, spreading out and setting him on fire with want and need. 

Below him, Chanyeol’s pupils were blown open, his face a mixture of shock and confusion, even if he didn’t stop kissing Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun placed a hand on the waistband of Chanyeol’s pants, his hands ready to plunge in, before he felt Chanyeol’s hand on top of his. 

Breathless, Chanyeol disengaged from Baekhyun. His lips were swollen and his cheeks bright red, eyes glassy with lust. Baekhyun swore he never saw such a beautiful sight before. 

“Wait….Baek. I… we should slow down”. Chanyeol tried to sit up properly, but immediately winced. 

“I...can’t keep up with you even if…” Chanyeol’s face was bright red probably from embarrassment as he glanced down at the large bandage across his chest. 

“It’s okay”. Baekhyun smiled, his hand cupping Chanyeol’s cheek. 

“Let me do the work for once”. 

With that, Baekhyun was clumsily pressing his lips back against Chanyeol’s. 

Chanyeol sighed into the kiss, and Baekhyun felt the pressure lift from his hands. 

“Are you sure this is okay?”

The hesitation and wariness was still written plain as day across Chanyeol’s face, but Baekhyun could see that flicker of something, of  _ want _ , dancing in Chanyeol’s eyes. 

In response, Baekhyun gingerly placed a tender kiss along Chanyeol’s jaw. 

“I want this”. 

Chanyeol’s eyes darkened as his hands gripped Baekhyun’s hips, and before Baekhyun knew it, his hands were dancing back along the waistband of Chanyeol’s camo pants, even as felt them go deeper, deeper into a warmth that made Baekhyun shiver. 

Chanyeol’s head was tilted back against the rock, and Baekhyun watched the drop of sweat roll down his neck and over his adam’s apple, before he rocked forward, using the flat of his tongue to lick it off. 

Chanyeol’s groan reverberated across the cave and Baekhyun continued to grind against Chanyeol, his hands themselves wrapped around something thick and  _ hot _ , pulsing with every motion. 

The heat in Baekhyun’s groin was growing more and more intolerable as the seconds passed, and Baekhyun felt a moan tear its way out of his throat when he suddenly felt a large palm rubbing across the front of his pants. 

Suddenly, Chanyeol was tensing, and Baekhyun felt his body jerk. Something wet and warm was spreading into his hands, thick and heavy. Baekhyun’s eyes widened, as he pulled his hand out. His hand was wet, and the semi translucent, whitish liquid was slowly rolling across his hand and down his wrist. Sticking out his tongue, Baekhyun licked the liquid. 

Immediately, Baekhyun felt huge hands spanning across his waist, fingers pushing his waistband down. Baekhyun saw stars as he felt large calloused hands move across his length, teasing, pushing against the slit. Baekhyun felt a sob building in his body as he cried wantonly, even when Chanyeol’s lips were back again, pressed heatedly against the expanse of his throat. 

When he came, it was quick, too quick almost as he felt his body spasm, his toes curling inwards as he twisted in Chanyeol’s tight grasp. Breathlessly, Baekhyun collapsed, spent onto Chanyeol’s chest. If Chanyeol felt any pain, he didn’t show it as he tried to readjust Baekhyun away from the bandage, panting. 

“Baek...that…”

“Don’t talk for a moment." Baekhyun gasped as he shakily tried to get off Chanyeol, his legs wobbling as he stood up. 

Baekhyun sat down heavily next to Chanyeol, his head immediately dropping onto Chanyeol’s shoulder. 

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol’s hand wrap around his own, and as his eyes started to droop, he felt the hand squeeze his. 

“I love you."

\-------

Jongin came back later and when he glanced at Baekhyun’s worn state and raised a brow at Chanyeol, all Chanyeol could do was blush. 

\-------

Slowly, surely, Chanyeol’s wound was healing and Baekhyun knew that everything was going to be alright with him. Jongin too, had seemed to accept that Baekhyun and Chanyeol were sort of “a thing”, and he often volunteered and insisted on getting food to give them some alone time.

Baekhyun wasn’t so happy about the fact that Jongin knew and accepted they were together, so much as he accepted what Baekhyun  _ was.  _

During the nights, with Chanyeol’s softly breathing on his right, and Jongin’s periodic grunts on his left, Baekhyun still struggled with himself, with what he had for Chanyeol, felt for him. For what Baekhyun himself  _ was.  _

Was what he was doing really alright? 

He still didn’t know, but Baekhyun tried to block painful thoughts from surfacing. He still had so much on his plate right now.

Based on Jongin’s scouting, the base had been completely overthrown. It was now predominantly run by the North. They didn’t know if any survivors had made it out. 

Later that night they were eating dinner together when Chanyeol dropped the bombshell.

Baekhyun remembers it started with a question. 

_ “How long has your side been planning the attack?” _

Jongin had asked it out of pure curiosity, but immediately Chanyeol’s position has stiffened, as if someone had poked him in the spine, bringing him to attention. 

Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck gingerly, glancing away from the two of them.

“I’m not sure but I think they’ve had some spies stationed there for a long time”. 

Baekhyun noted how Chanyeol chose to use  _ they _ , to distance himself from the “other side”. 

Jongin’s face had darkened and Baekhyun could feel the drop in the mood and the tension starting to thicken. 

“Spies”. 

Chanyeol winced and stopped scraping at his tapioca. 

“If I’m not wrong there was only one main spy we called him Suho. He was a military commander back in our platoon”. 

The alarm bells in Baekhyun’s head had gone off then. The name had sounded so disturbingly familiar, a piece of information buried somewhere deep in his mind but definitely registered there. 

Baekhyun’s eyes had flickered to Jongin, only to see his brow furrowed as well, the frown etched across his face. 

“Suho?” 

“Yeah. I don’t really know much about him but apparently he had a cousin in the south side called Sehun. That’s how he managed to get sneaked in”. 

The moment Chanyeol said those words, Jongin’s eyes had widened and he immediately sat up straight, staring at Chanyeol who instinctively backed away. 

“What did you say?” 

Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun for help, but Baekhyun couldn’t do anything. It was as if he was suddenly made from stone. Cool unmovable granite. 

“Uh… Suho had a cousin called Sehun who helped him get into the base and get more information?” 

Sehun’s smiling face came flashing to Baekhyun for an instant before pain was suddenly flashing through Baekhyun’s temples. 

_ I am extremely proud of every man sitting here, and I always will be. Regardless of what happens. I can only hope that you will think the same of me _ . 

Pain.

It wasn’t the sort of physical pain Baekhyun was accustomed to, or even the various heartbreaks he had over the years. This was pain on a whole different level. It was a pain so acute that Baekhyun couldn’t even bring himself to describe it. A pain that lashed and throbbed and pulsed unmercilessly as it left the victim dry, bloodless and empty. 

_ This was pain.  _

When Baekhyun came to, Jongin was no longer in the cave, and Chanyeol had somehow scooted himself over and had a hand across his shoulders as he whispered sweet nothings into Baekhyun’s ear. 

But even as Baekhyun proceeded to sob into Chanyeol’s shoulder he knew that nothing was going to change the fact that he had been betrayed. Betrayed by a friend, a comrade, someone who had once even risked his life for him. 

Baekhyun decided that the world was a cruel place after all, and nothing was going to change that fact, even with the steady pulse of Chanyeol keeping him going.

——

When Chanyeol was finally able to stand again, Baekhyun knew that they couldn’t continue to ignore the looming future ahead of them. 

It didn’t help that Jongin, who’s mood had grown progressively worse as the days passed, kept reminding Baekhyun that it was getting more and more difficult to upkeep their food supply. 

Not to mention that Jongin had managed to discover that help was on it’s way in the form of burly blond haired and blue eyed men from some place called America. 

Chanyeol too was more on edge as the days passed by. 

So, when Jongin was out again to forage for food, Baekhyun decided it was time. 

“Yeol. I need to know what your plan is for after”. 

Baekhyun’s voice was gentle and he held Chanyeol’s hand, drawing smooth little circles against his inner wrist. 

Chanyeol didn’t look surprised. If anything he looked resigned, expectant of the question that both of them knew the other didn’t want to answer. 

“Yeol ah. I want to make an offer”. Baekhyun’s voice trembled slightly, and Baekhyun tried to keep the nervous agitation from bleeding in. 

“Stay with us. Come back to the south”. 

Chanyeol’s eyes widened as he stared at Baekhyun in shock. He didn’t drop Baekhyun’s hand though, so Baekhyun took that as a good sign. 

“If you come back we can get you assimilated, no one would hate on you for turning away. You’ll be accepted”. Baekhyun left the  _ and we could be together  _ hanging in the air.

Chanyeol bit his lip and hesitated, his large hand gripping onto Baekhyun’s more tightly. 

“Baek. I don’t know, this is a lot you’re asking me”. 

Baekhyun didn’t want to admit that his possible anticipation died a little after that statement. 

“I’ll have to think about it. Will you give me some time?” Chanyeol looked into Baekhyun’s eyes, his face worried. 

Baekhyun smiled before pressing a kiss to Chanyeol’s temple. 

“I’ll always wait for you”.

———

Baekhyun and Jongin decided that they would leave in three days. 

Baekhyun told Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol smiled at Baekhyun, and stroked his hand later at night. 

Baekhyun kept waiting for the answer he was praying for. 

It never came. 

\---------

It was finally the day. 

Baekhyun woke up, immediately alert. It was early, still impossibly dark out, but Baekhyun didn’t care. Next to him, Chanyeol was awake too, still on first watch. 

Baekhyun poked him, and Chanyeol too, looked up at Baekhyun, his face impassive, giving nothing away. 

“We’re leaving today”. Baekhyun whispered as he fingered Chanyeol’s hair. Besides them, Jongin was still breathing softly, his breaths even and measured. 

“I know”. 

Chanyeol’s voice was deep, emotionless, and Baekhyun knew what the answer was going to be. 

“Yeol, if that’s your choice, then I respect it. It’s okay. We can just go back to our lives, and everything will be okay...I..” Baekhyun rambled, his voice shaking slightly as he turned his face away from Chanyeol. He didn’t want Chanyeol to see him crying. 

“Baek.”

Baekhyun immediately looked up at Chanyeol, the force in Chanyeol’s voice startling him. 

“Baek. I didn’t say I wasn’t going to come”. 

The world seemed to stop and Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, dumbfounded. 

“I’ve thought about a lot of things these past few days”, Chanyeol exhaled as he looked out of the cave, towards the inky blackness. 

“To me, my life back in the North is important to me. It’s where I grew up, where my family is, where my home is”. 

“But all that...that doesn’t mean anything if I’m not happy. But after meeting you...I don’t know anymore. You’ve shown me a new life, you’ve  _ given  _ me a new life, a life full of possibilities, of hope, something I never had in the North”.

Chanyeol sighed as he turned his eyes towards Baekhyun, taking Baekhyun’s hand into his. 

“Which is why, I want to continue this. If anything, I want to experience  _ this  _ life, living in the now. We’ve been through so much together and I want to have a life with you in it, and if that means following you wherever you go then so be it.”

Chanyeol smiled as he squeezed Baekhyun’s hand. 

“I’ll come with you”. 

Chanyeol leaned close to Baekhyun and pecked his forehead. Baekhyun closed his eyes and finally allowed the tears to roll down his cheeks. 

This was real and Chanyeol was going to stay. 

Chanyeol was going to stay. 

_ With him. _

\--------

**26th June 2015**

_ Hi sheepies!  _

_ Thanks for subscribing to your best blogger lay! To celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in the USA, we’ve decided to release a very special article today especially for all our lovely LGBTQ+ subscribers out there!  _

_ In today’s feature we’ll be looking at the love story of two grandpas and how their love spanned prejudices, countries and even wars. Our interviewee, Mr Park Chanyeol, aged 85, tells us a movingly emotional story of love and resilience. His late partner Mr Byun Baekhyun...[click to read more…]  _

[+7834 -234]: omg i’m crying this is so amazing

[+3547 -678]: at least they managed to move to the US. being gay in korea is still pretty shit even now

[+45 -2359]: gross 

[+473 -23]: i wish my relationship was like that :( 

[+5647 -148]: what an emotional rollercoaster. Thanks for sharing this story! It really shows us what true love is.


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